


can't ever stop howling

by oh_kay



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: F/M, due to derek's issues and low self-esteem, slight angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-04
Updated: 2013-12-04
Packaged: 2018-01-03 11:59:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1070229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oh_kay/pseuds/oh_kay
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"...he wants to kiss her monstrous mouth and hold her beating heart in his cupped palms, make space for the darkness that’s been swallowing her for over two years in his own ribcage."</p>
            </blockquote>





	can't ever stop howling

**Author's Note:**

> originally written on tumblr (minor edits made), inspired by [an awesome & very nsfw photo](http://thebettertoeatyou.tumblr.com/post/68316490279) of allison and derek's lookalikes posted on [thebettertoeatyou](http://thebettertoeatyou.tumblr.com), which you should definitely follow if you like pictures of pretty people that look like teen wolf cast on your dash.
> 
> title from margaret atwood's _the blind assassin_. when in doubt, always turn to margaret atwood!

Allison’s back is like a bowstring, straight and taut as if on the verge of snapping, the delicate bones of her vertebrae sharp under his fingerpads; Derek could easily cut himself on them, draw blood. He could easily cut her in turn, his claws just under his skin while his instincts scream _danger_ , _danger_ , _danger_ , and his body screams _want_.

He knows who she is, at least.

Allison shivers when he runs his hands up and down her sides, settles deeper into his lap. The tip of his cock brushes the crack of her ass, and that’s the most intimate contact they’ve shared yet. They’ve been naked for almost an hour, now, and they haven’t even kissed.

Derek wants to kiss Allison more than he’s wanted anything in a long time. Wants to lay her down and strip her of her pale skin and bird-like bones, of her muscles wound up so tight, her sinews and arteries, until all there’s left, all there is for him, is the monster in her. And he wants that too, he wants to kiss her monstrous mouth and hold her beating heart in his cupped palms, make space for the darkness that’s been swallowing her for over two years in his own ribcage.

Allison is beautiful and terrifying like a wildfire, and Derek is terrified of her, but he wasn’t of Kate (at first) and of Jennifer (never), and look where it got him, so he finally places an open-mouthed kiss on her nape, licks off the bead of her sweat.

“Took you long enough,” she murmurs, tilts her head to seek out his mouth, nips at his lower lip, rolls her hips until he’s smearing pre-come all over her buttcheeks, and it’s so much he has to close his eyes against the vulnerability of her stance, the tilt of her head, the flush of her skin.

I know her, Derek reminds himself. I know who she is.

(It doesn’t feel like that when she takes his hand and puts it on her breast.)

Between her shoulder blades there’s a place where Derek’s forehead fits seamlessly, a slight dip ready-made for him. Allison’s skin smells of rain, milk and honey shower gel, his and her perspiration. He breathes her— _them_ —in, and the gust of the air makes her shudder. “I wanna—” she says. “Derek.” She moves forward to give him space to roll a condom on.

He does, guides her gently back and onto his cock, bites at the inside of his cheek when she takes him all the way in, as if they prepared, as if there was enough foreplay to make it feel as good for her as it does for him, her warmth pooling out from where they’re joined, up, up, to his heart, to his throat, clouding his mind.

It gets worse—better—when she starts rocking, forward and back, and then up and down, up and down, by inches that feel like miles. She’s slow but precise, weighs almost nothing as she fucks herself on his dick, arms braced on his knees for leverage. Derek can’t seem to find a place for his huge, rough hands; they look outlandish on her slim hips, and he’s too afraid to hug her, pull her in. It’ll be easier if he doesn’t, later—when she leaves.

He doesn’t take into account that he’s weak, that he always wants too much. When Allison moans low in her throat, quiet and almost shy, he thinks it’ll be worth it.

Truth be told, pain often is.

He’s working up his courage to cup her breast, to fuck into her when she stills, says “Derek”, says “Stop”, even though he isn’t doing much of anything, just sits there and lets her take and take and take, everything she wants. He does as he’s told, though, stops immediately, hips halted before the thrust even began, and Allison jumps down, puts her hand on the back of her neck as if gathering thoughts. Of course, Derek thinks.

They’re the only two left in Beacon Hills, Scott and Lydia and Stiles in college, Isaac in London, Cora in Argentina. Derek helps Melissa around the house, sometimes, and has a drink or two with the Sheriff, and nods politely at Chris when they pass each other in the grocery store, but only Allison has the familiar downturn of mouth when they meet at the stump of the Nemeton every other week, she with a bow, and he with his claws out. They chased away a family of goblins once, got dragged through deep, sticky mud. Derek spit, swore, blurted out, tired of keeping up appearances: “I have no idea what I’m doing,” and laughed. Allison laughed with him, the same bitterness and no mirth, and said, “Fuck. Me neither.”

She came to him because she has a type, he let her in because he perhaps has one, too. He knew it wasn’t enough, but he didn’t think—didn’t think he’d fuck it up before it started. Not that he’s surprised.

Allison spins on her heel, climbs into his lap again, face to face. Her breath is hot on his face and his fingers tighten involuntarily where they rest against her waist, as if that could make her stay as long as he wants her to, maybe wake up with him. She puts her hands on his shoulders. “I’m afraid too,” she says softly, touches his cheek with the back of her hand. “I’m tired of being afraid alone.”

Derek kisses her, then, kisses her like he means it, needy and desperate and full of longing. He bites her mouth red, leaves her breathless, so when he lifts her and pushes inside, her gasp is almost silent, the strength of her legs around his waist and her heels digging into the small of his back speaking for her.

It’s rough, what they do to one another, how Allison rearranges herself, lifts herself up and down with grace, fucks herself on Derek’s cock again, this time with Derek’s hand, warm at the base of her spine, keeping her steady, his thumb seeking out her clit, rubbing, his face hidden in the crook of her neck. How she laughs, short of breath, when Derek moves his hand to her breast and squeezes her nipple. How he keeps biting and nipping, teeth and stubble scratching her skin; how he winds one arm around her when her rhythm stutters, fucks up into her, again and again and again, as insistent as his thumb on her nub, doesn’t slow down when she comes, silent and breathless and with her face slack from pleasure.

He flips them and lays her down, as he wanted to. Lifts her hips and holds himself above her, losing himself in her with every thrust of his hips, deep and would-be-punishing if it weren’t Allison, free and strong, if it weren’t Derek, if they didn’t fit together like they do.

He fucks her hard and with intent, fucks her until it builds up in her again, until her muscles tighten—his as well, alongside hers—and her thighs start trembling where they’re pressed to his sides. Her breasts are hard and pert, and when he angles his head down and licks them, bites when licking is no longer enough, Allison shouts his name, muscles releasing and back unbowing, comes clenching around him, and he follows, and when he does, he doesn’t see darkness but light, white, white, white.

(“Hi,” Derek says when he comes back from his high.

“Hi”, Allison replies and smiles, puts an arm under her head and falls asleep.)

**Author's Note:**

> come say hi on [tumblr!](http://themonstering.tumblr.com)


End file.
